After having prayed to God one fine afternoon for a girlfriend, I was with so much hope inspired by faith waiting earnestly and patiently for the reply in the person of a very lovable lady, preferably Ama, until I had this very interesting answer from God. This answer is something that I want to share with every one of you, with the rare opportunity to visit my blog, today.

And the Lord God spoke to me, “My son, Atteh, you have made a very genuine but ignorant request, but before I grant you that request, I want you to go through the whole of the Bible and get me someone to whom I had offered a girlfriend or boyfriend and use that person as your reference or instance or example for your request and I will willingly grant it unto you.”

“Come and see speed!” I ran immediately to the Bible study software I had on my PC (personal computer) and started type-searching the history behind the marriages of the great men and women in the Bible. Amazingly, up-to-date I have not found even a single one of them to whom God had provided a girlfriend or boyfriend. All of them, those who married, when they were ready for marriage God provided for them wives or husbands – not girlfriends of boyfriends. Also, I have never seen in any part of the Bible the word ‘ex’, be it ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, ex-wife, or ex-girlfriend.

As I was doing my search I chanced upon Matthew 1:18, “This is how the birth of Jesus came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with a child through the Holy Spirit.” At long last, I thought I had found something meaningful, then a voice spoke inside of me to read the next verse for confirmation and whoa, “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man…” – Matthew 1:19. For the records, the Bible does not contradict itself so a pledge is actually a form of marriage because it is only after marriage that the terms husband and wife come into being. Joseph would not have been referred as the Husband of Mary if he had not been married to Mary in the sight of God.

The idea we have today of testing whether someone is okay (genetically, physically, emotionally, ‘child-bearingly’, etc.,) before we go ahead to finally tie the knot is not God’s idea, at all. It is only God who provides, and when He does perfection is a hundred percent assured. A question of mine is that, “After your five or so years of courtship, or boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, you realized he/she is not that sensitive to your emotional needs, what then do you do? Do you let that person go, or you will go ahead with your courtship and subsequently marriage?”

When in your testing the child-bearing capability of your gf (girlfriend) or bf (boyfriend) you realized his/ her chances are so low. Do you kick that person out for a new one? God says do not believe in Science more than in Him for He is the only giver of children. Consider Sarai’s case and tell me if at that age science permits child birth.

There and then, God spoke to me again, “Atteh, look through the Bible again for cases of divorce.” But, for this one, I want us all to do the search for people who were once together courting or together in marriage and got separated to become best of enemies or worst of friends like it is happening in our world today.

What do we do with our so called boyfriends or girlfriends? That passionate kiss, explicit touches, smooch, sex? This is what is called sexual pleasures/ immoralities that Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:9 that if one cannot control him/herself of them should marry.  So then, if you are not married to somebody (i.e. before God you are not the husband or wife) control yourself and do not surrender your own self into the wide gape of those passions. They are the devil’s plans of ensnaring us.

What God wants me to make you (single people out there) understand in this piece of writing is that, what you need now is a goodfriend, not a girlfriend or boyfriend, for the good Book of His meant to guide our path has nothing of a sort in it. He says when you are ready for marriage and He himself sees your readiness, He will give you a lasting wife or husband. Shun that boyfriend/ girlfriend thing and cling to God now.

I think good Christians are in a hurry to enter into such boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships because they want to be selfish by not sharing the goodness of those they have ‘grabbed’ as bf or gf with the world. If truly they believed they are their God-given partners they would wait till their marriage bells were tolled.

I conclude with this saying, “ For when a relationship/ marriage is founded on sexual pleasures it is bound to break the next moment because we cannot trust ourselves of controlling them, but the one founded on the dependable God is eternally bound” God is alive. He is not dead!

By: Peter Atteh Kodjo-Judge


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